We always admire those people who have gone through some major personal tragedy, who tell us simply that they have forgiven the perpetrator of some heinous event. Inspiring, eh? We all recognise that forgiveness is both wonderful and empowering. It’s much less easy task, though, when it comes to forgiving others ourselves.
For years, my grumpy mantra was ‘I don’t do forgiveness’, which I think probably gave me permission to behave badly myself. I have however, now changed my ways. I have since learnt that it is by letting go of past hurts (real or imagined) that I can move on. Although it sounds simple and obvious enough, it is very hard to do.
Many of us have gone through all sorts of traumas: perhaps we’ve survived seriously dysfunctional relationships, bear emotional or physical scarring from abuse or just been the victim of an unhappy set of circumstances. The first step to healing starts with forgiveness. We don’t have to like what somebody else has done to us, or accept how we have been treated. But we can still forgive the perpetrator(s). The very act of forgiveness actually lessens the power of the wrong which we believe was done to us, whilst actually making us feel empowered at the same time.
So what can you do if you don’t want to be forever plagued by such emotional issues? Undertaking the following can be immensely cathartic.
- Cut emotional ties that link us to past traumatic events and unbalanced relationships
- Reclaim any ‘soul fragments’ that we may have inadvertently lost during a traumatic time
- Invoke The Violet Flame to send healing to ourselves, events and relationships. This healing can incorporate the past, present and the future.
- Use the Hawaiian Ho’oponopono Mantra of Forgiveness and Reconciliation.
- Set objectives and say affirmations for how we want our present and future to pan out.
The next few blog posts will outline each of these five steps.
The process may sound simple, but believe you me, it can be extremely difficult for people to do and may take several attempts over a prolonged period of time. However, forgiveness is an extremely cathartic and powerful healing process, not just for ourselves, but for others around us too.